Stuck On A Plane
by TalesofErynGalen
Summary: Well, what do you expect to happen when the same people are trapped on a plane together? Even a very nice plane? Introducing that one fic where Coulson procrastinates, Elmo was hiding in the cockpit, and Fitz gets pranky. No apologies. Crack!fic


**A/N: YAY not dead! Quick note - these have no set timeframe, and** ** _really_** **aren't supposed to make sense.**

 _Chapter One: Elmo's World_

" _Skye!_ This isn't funny anymore." Ward had been _expecting_ his trainee to be more...agreeable after their trip into a town near SHIELD headquarters. But _no._ He convinces Coulson, Hand, and _whoever else_ needed convincing that it was safe for her to be in public, buys her food, walks around _all day_ in the most _sweltering_ heat he _ever_ felt, doesn't get (very) angry when she ditches him in the mall, and now what? He may have to explain to Coulson that, as Skye's SO, he has _no earthly idea_ where she is the day after their excursion. _After they were already back on the Bus._

It wasn't uncommon for her to sleep in. He'd checked her bunk first - ten minutes past 5 o'clock, when they were supposed to meet for training. It was a mess of rumpled sheets, as per usual, with the woman's pajamas discarded on the blanket, but no Skye. He'd walked back to the cargo bay, half expecting her to be waiting. After another five minutes, muttering under his breath, he jogged back to her bunk, ignoring Fitz as he woke and stretched. Ward searched the entirety of the (admittedly very small) space. There wasn't a single trace of Skye.

"Simmons!" He grabbed the biochemist's arm as she walked by, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Have you seen Skye? We normally meet at five sharp to train. Now it's...almost six."

Jemma yawned, trying to look alert to answer. "N...no, I don't think I have. But, she has to be on the plane, right? Do you think something's happened?" Worry grew in her tone and expression. Ward frowned, thinking about the twenty minutes Skye had virtually disappeared the day before, while he allowed her to shop. Was there any chance...she'd made arrangements of some kind? He wanted to slap himself immediately afterwards - _no,_ Skye was an agent of SHIELD now, and she at least _seemed_ happy to have been pulled into it...

"I don't know. I'll let you know when I do, though."

Three hours. It was now eight in the morning, the entire team up and either eating breakfast or already going about their routines. Ward had begrudgingly accepted a plate of pancakes after scouring the whole plane - Skye really had dropped off the map. She wasn't in her bunk, the cargo bay, the lab, the _bathroom, anyone else's_ bunk (he'd had a fun time explaining to Coulson why he woke up to one of his agents crawling under his bed), the commons area, she wasn't even in the _air vents. Yes,_ he had checked the vents after remembering stories about Agent Barton. May was smirking at his misfortune from across the table. He assumed the plane was on autopilot. Clearly.

Coulson was sitting beside one of the windows, laptop up and running. He seemed invested in his work, typing at what seemed like a mile a minute. _How many words is that?_ In any case, he had made it clear that wherever Skye was, and whatever she was doing, she wasn't being a danger and she could handle herself. Now, he'd said, if she were to remain MIA for more than a couple days...

Wait.

May.

Ward suspiciously met the senior agent's gaze over the rim of his cup, mid-sip. To most, she would have looked expressionless. Even to him, she appeared so for several seconds. But as he set down his mug, going to cut off another bite of pancake, he caught the slight twitch at the corner of her mouth. She was smiling.

Agent Melinda May didn't smile at a piece of french toast. Even if it _did_ look like it was mutilated.

He hadn't checked the cockpit.

"May?"

May hummed, meeting his eyes and raising an eyebrow to show she was listening.

"Did you hide Skye in the cockpit with you?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Coulson stop typing and look up, caught between amusement and curiosity. May shrugged and took a bite of her toast. "I didn't hide her. Just let her stay to mess with you."

With a sigh, Ward dropped his fork back onto the plate and strode towards the door leading to the cockpit. Coulson had gone back to typing, now smiling. He probably thought it was _so funny_ that May had -

He jerked the door open.

" _Welcome to Elmo's world, bitch!_ "

He hit the floor, hard, the wind knocked out of his lungs by the mess of red that assaulted him from the door. He could hear Coulson through the ringing in his ears. _Laughing._ Laughing as hard as his agent had just been hit.

" _Skye?!"_ he gasped as soon as he could talk. " _Why..."_

His trainee grinned at him, pushing back the startlingly red Elmo mask. "Found an awesome costume store at the mall. Why didn't you keep up?"


End file.
